Picaso

I have learned that as much as I have been taught about and exposed to a wide range of experiences with people, I know not much.  I have prided myself in knowing how I believe people feel about various situations, only to discover I know not much.  It's simple isn't it?  I'm a reasonable thinking person, to me; most times, to most people.  I am reasonably intelligent.  I have earned degrees in management and leadership to go with my thirty-two years of working with people.  Yet, it is unfortunate I ultimately find that I am pretty far from what I believe to be true about people on any given subject.

I have a genuine care for the advancement of people, and especially those who I am associated with in any given arena.  Whether it be those I attend and fellowship with at church, friends that I have known forever, colleagues, both supervisory and subordinate, parental, extended family, immediate family, suggested family, framily, and all others in between.  I never-ever want to see, experience, or be a part of any negative association with people.  I better drop a note here before I am crucified; I don't want to see, be a part of, or allow any abuse of power toward anyone.  If the last sentence has you wondering about my allegiance to what some consider, "The Thin Blue Line," trust that I will be the first to get into any cops *** from the bottom to the top that would abuse their power or authority at the demise of the worst of the worst criminal.  I'm off track, but I had to make that plain and clear!

One day several years ago, I asked a question that I have since regretted asking.  I often go back to that day, remembering it vividly because of how much I care for and provide care, both spiritual and emotional for people in varying arenas.  I asked, "How do you do it?"  The answer was simply this, "Man, I can turn it on, and then turn it right back off and go about my business!"  Literally, within about ten minutes of praying mightily with a family in an ICU hospital room, over a woman taking her last breath, we were laughing and telling war stories.  The attitudes of one man who was a prominent preacher, the other, just a recently divorced guy with a lot of time on his hands to hang out.  No, I was not the preacher in this particular story.

Years later, I would learn that particular attitude and answer to my question to be associated with either Compassion Fatigue, or just plain ole, "IDGA*!"  The unfortunate thing for me is, IDoGA*, especially when it comes to the people I am responsible for.  Family, friends, superiors, co-workers, subordinates, residents, visitors, criminals, enemies, you name it.

I have a multitude of personal faults that I surely can't hide.  One of those is, "you wear your emotions on your shoulder!"  I must, because today, I was told of how it is painted all over my being when it's not going to be a good day.  I wish I could see my portrait on those days, because I believe that I have stuff under control.  The real jacked up thing about it is, today wasn't the first, second, third, or fortieth time I've been told such.

Two Sundays ago when the choir was singing a song, one of the choir members leaned over to my wife, who is also in the choir and said, "Ryan looked mighty bored when we were singing just now!"  I guess it was real bad because Bridgette sent me a text message during the service about the comment.  I reflected back on the song, which only about three minutes had passed by since they finished singing, and thought, they actually sounded okay.  Then I tried my hardest to remember what I was actually thinking about while they were singing.  "Oh yeah, I just finished preaching at another church about thirty minutes ago."  That would explain my suggested boredom.  Preaching takes everything out of me for at least the next twelve hours or so.  I probably did look like I was interested in laying down in my bed and taking a nap!

My point in taking the long way around by telling that story is, I must do better in my non-verbal communications, especially if I'm going to be a leader.  I only want the best for the people around me.  I guess I better somehow show my best, even when not feeling my best.  I've got to paint a better picture.

It hurts really bad to give so much towards the intended success of the people I serve when it is perceived that there is an ulterior motive.  I was hit with a ton of bricks when told that my good was perceived as meant for evil.  For once, perception is not a reality.

This moment in blog is not intended for you to understand.  It's just, what's on my mind. 

My Lil One drew this picture in the 3rd Grade. 

"Picaso" by, Briahnna Small

A Time of Peace, Blessings, and Togetherness

It's Monday night, and I finally have a moment to reflect on the events of the weekend.  It doesn't usually take me so long for it all to sink in, but this past weekend (and a couple days prior to) had quite a bit going on.  There's always a lot going on in my life socially, professionally, with my family, framily, and friends.

Let me start with by asking that you keep my father in your prayers.  The ole man (not old man...he's pretty hip) had a birthday on September 11.  This past Thursday he went in for surgery to help with a significant health challenge he's dealing with.  My Lil One made a video for him to give him a boost of Get Well encouragement.  I was also blessed to share in the City of Manhattan Beach's 9/11 Memorial Ceremony, providing the benediction and acknowledgement to the architect of the city's memorial site, Mr. Patrick Killen who recently passed away.

The 9/11 Memorial program, Small's Star Book for Ministers, and a City of MB Parks and Rec Challenge Coin shared

Saturday, I had the absolute honor and privilege to attend the 6th Annual USV-JSC Prayer Breakfast.  The USV-JSC is a unity of military chaplains from every branch of the armed forces whose primary duty is to serve at military funerals and burials.  I was asked to attend as part of my position as a police chaplain as well as the president of the Southern California Chaplains' Association.  I was asked to give the welcome and provide the prayer for police officers (there were seventeen, one minute prayers.)  I must say, I didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal or event, especially since they asked, ME, of all people to be involved.

Manhattan Beach 9/11 Ceremony - Lt. Small, Police Chief Eve Irvine, Mayor Mark Burton, and Fire Chief Robert Espinosa

When I arrived, there was military garb, insignia, brass, polish, spit-shine, swords, covers, and you name it, all around the place.  Even though I was in my police, Class A uniform, I felt so under-dressed.  I didn't know if I was suppose to salute or curtsy at these men and women!  Purple Hearts, stars, stripes, and all kinds of ribbons and awards were pinned from head to toe.  But the real cool thing was; I was the only police officer there, and as many that I was in awe of, they were just as interested in the uniform that I was wearing.  Complete mutual respect for each other.

US Marine Corps Brigade General Michael J. Aguilar, MBPD Lieutenant Ryan Small, and US Army Colonel Albert Aguilar

Then to top it off, they had me sitting at the dais with a Navy Rear Admiral, a Marine Corps Brigade General, an Army Colonel, and next to a Catholic Priest who asked if I was the Chief of Police (smh!)  Most of you already know what my response to that question was ("I'm about as close to being the chief of police as you are to being Jesus Christ, fella!"...forgive me Lord.)  

Rear Admiral Michael McKinney, US Navy and Lieutenant Ryan Small, MBPD

I rushed back to the office, did some paperwork, and then headed home to prepare for Sunday and to spend some much needed family time.  (Hit the brakes, HERE!)  While driving back to the office, I get a text from my lil bruh, Pastor Louis Monroe, III.  "Hey man, are you preaching tomorrow?"  (Me: "Nope!")  "You are now!  Thanks, going out of town...Bye!"  Thankfully I have a few sermons all ready to go.  Did I fail to mention that it was Youth and Young Adult Sunday at our church, where I am the YYA Minister, and responsible for facilitating the service?

So I got home, grabbed some California Fish Grill with the wife and lil one; watch a little UCLA and USC football (yes, they were separate games), and then of course, had the football games watch me.  Next thing I knew, it was about 3am (smh!!!)

This was my second week in a row preaching at Word of God Baptist Church.  It was real cool to preach there, one because the people are cool, but two, I got a chance for a second week in a row to preach just after Tim "Bishop" Brown ministered in praise and worship.  I've followed Tim's music ministry for a while, and that guy is on fire for God in his presentation.  For those that may not know Tim, he has composed quite a few gospel hits, including, "He's Done Enough" which was made even more popular by Minister Beverly Crawford, and Fantasia.

I preached from a familiar text, Genesis 3, "The Results of a Snaky Conversation."  When Pastor Monroe and I were much younger, hanging out as teenagers, I would drive him to his preaching engagements.  That guy preached this sermon text (and Topic) for at least two years straight!  We always kidded around that if I ever became a preacher, and him a pastor, that I would preach that sermon in his pulpit.  Well, Sunday I made that a true fantasy/nightmare (fantasy because he wanted me to become a preacher; nightmare because I was always running from the cloth!)

Rev. Ryan B. Small and Pastor Louis Monroe, III

About halfway through the sermon, I discovered, I had already been preaching about twenty-five minutes and the people were ready for the climax.  I had to really humble myself because I had not made my big Baptist points yet, but at the same time I really needed to be sensitive to my mission, as well as what God really wanted the people to hear.  So for real and no Baptist fanfare, I cut across the field to get to the purpose of the message.  I think I'm mature enough as a preacher to know when to recognize 'some' things, and that was surely one of those times.  Thankfully I was able to get the context of the message across as I was greeted by many there that indicated they were blessed by the message.

I rushed over to True Friendship, which is only a few miles down the road, in enough time to begin our service.  I failed to mention though, just before I left Word of God, I asked Tim if he would be interested in coming over to do Praise and Worship for us.  And guess what?  He said, yes.  I was so honored that he would even consider us.  He came over, and was awesome!!!  Our church was rockin, and it certainly set the mood for the rest of the day.

My good buddy and best friend, Rev. Mack Mossett was the preacher for this Youth and Young Adult Sunday.  I asked (Rev.) Mack to preach a few months ago for this service and to focus on a "Back to School" message for our young people.  As always, he did an awesome job.

Rev. Lemuel "Mack" Mossett, III

As just about every Sunday, our families (Mack and mine) got together at the Campus by the Sea (that would be Mack's house; our house is the South Campus) for some Sunday-After Church family time, which normally turns out to be a time of non-stop slapstick comedy.  But this time, we were both pretty worn out, so it was a time to tell a few laughs, watch some football, eat a little chicken, and then I bombed out in the chair at the table for a good twenty five minutes (or so lol.)

"Today was a good day!"  Bridge and I got up, walked the Lil One to school and then set out to find a new spot for breakfast.  We usually spend our Mondays together as we both usually have this one day off together.  Instead of going to one of our normal breakfast spots (Roscoe's or Sunrise Cafe) we tried for a second time to eat at this spot next to Cal Bowl (I think it's called M'deas or something like that) but it was closed.  So we saw this spot called Heritage on Carson and Paramount.  It wasn't the atmosphere that we were used to (Long Beach vs. Lakewood...I guess we are fickle like that, lol) but the food was pretty decent, and the music (R & B) was nice.

We came home, got cleaned up, and then finally, went to see, Straight Outta Compton.  We were the ONLY people in the theater until about twenty minutes into the movie.  Then this one guy (obviously) snuck in, but it was cool because he didn't say anything.  Then a few minutes later, a bunch of old cacklin' hens came in and sat a few rows in front of us.  DUDE!!!!  I was kind of upset.  But still, the movie was cool.  Took us both back to our prime time in our youthful life (I was 16-21 then; Bridge was 13-18) so we had a lot in common with the movie and each other.  Bridge actually being from Compton-LA, and me from LA-Crenshaw area made it extra special for us because there were so many things that put us right there in the middle of it all.

Well, I've kept you far longer than anticipated, but thanks for allowing me to share my weekend with you.  It gave me an opportunity to actually see what I missed, and I was there for all of it!

Ryan in an empty theater waiting to see, Straight Outta Compton

Peace and Blessings to you all.  Thanks for stopping by,

Ryan

Galatians 6:9

PS...Did I mention that I had dinner with my favorite NBA basketball team's coach?  Yeah that's me and the one and only, Doc Rivers of the Los Angeles Clippers!  The truth of the matter is, we were having dinner, celebrating Mack's birthday, and while listening to some jazz at the Dave Koz Lounge in Beverly Hills, and in walks Doc.  I saw him, panicked and acted like a little bitty girl as I clobbered Bridgette's leg trying to get her to look up.  Then, Doc and I made eye contact and gave the, "What's up bro?" head nod.  You KNOW what happened next...PHOTO OP!  LMBO!!!

Ryan and LA Clippers Head Coach/President of Basketball Operations, Doc Rivers